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I read a lot of scripts, and I’ve noticed a
trend.
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The average writer’s dialogue is getting better
than it used to be.
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With so many resources available to learn from,
most writers are moving past the basic mistakes and writing some pretty good
stuff.
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Now it’s time to think about making that pretty
good dialogue great. In that spirit,
here are five less talked about ways to make your dialogue even better:
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1. End Scenes On The Right Note
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It’s always a pleasure when an exchange of dialogue
leads to a really nice line: a punchy bit of humor or an insightful dramatic
utterance. But too often, after finding
a way to this choice nugget of dialogue, the writer decides to let the characters
drone on for three of four more lines instead of ending the scene.
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A scene will often work best if you cut away
right after that great line. Of course,
in the movie the scene may not end immediately; it’s a chance for the director
to hang on an actor’s expression, or use music to enhance the moment. A strong director will know how to end the
scene after that great line.
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There are a few exceptions when you don’t want to
end the scene on your best line. An
example is when a great line calls for an immediate response. For example, in the classic film As Good As It Gets, when Jack Nicholson
tells Helen Hunt, “You make me want to be a better man,” we know she’s going to
react, and we need to hear it.
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But often a line is just good, without calling
for a response or any further conversation.
In those cases, a lot can be gained by ending the scene without any
further ado.
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2. End Each Line of Dialogue On The Right Note
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This tip is similar to my first, but it concerns
individual lines of dialogue and how to best order the phrases within them.
When a single line of dialogue contains several sentences or phrases, it’s
usually wise to put the best phrase at the end of a line of dialogue. Put the
funny phrase at the end of the line. Put
the phrase with the revealing information at the end of the line. Whatever the
meat of the matter is, it’s usually best to end the line on that note.
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3. Say
Neither More Nor Less Than Necessary To Tell The Story
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Most writers know the basic
rule that dialogue should work along with the visuals in a film to tell the
story. In other words, most writers know
that if we see a blue car screeching to a halt, and a door opens, a bad guy
doesn’t need to tell his captive, “Get into the blue car that just pulled up!”
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A mistake I do see a fair
amount is that, even though a writer is aware of this basic idea, the dialogue
nevertheless offers a bit too much or a bit too little information to go along
with what we’re seeing on screen.
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If the dialogue offers too
much information, then it’s partly redundant and less than ideally
efficient. For example, the blue car
rolls up, and the bad guy says to his hostage, “Get in the car!” Why not just say, “Get in!” Yeah, it sounds natural enough the first way,
but that’s two extra words that don’t need to be said, because we all see the
car.
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The flipside is dialogue that
offers too little information, even with the aid of the visual. For example, the blue car pulls up, and the
bad guy tells his hostage, “Go!” In this
case, neither the hostage nor the audience knows exactly what the bad guy means
(maybe get in the car, maybe run away), creating a slight, momentary disconnect
that can push your readers out of the story.
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This is just a simple example
for purposes of illustration. My point
is that the best dialogue says precisely as much as needs to be said, no more,
no less. It’s actually a very small
target to hit, but hitting it consistently can make a script sing.
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4. Give
Those Great Lines To Your Main Characters
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Again, we’re dealing with the mistake of an
advanced writer here, because the mistake involves a great line of
dialogue. I see this one a lot: minor
players getting the really insightful lines when it would be just as easy to
give that line to the star of the film. Most
movies need star power in order to get made. If you want to attract a talented
lead, give those great lines to the lead role, or at least to one of the major
players and not to Policeman #2.
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5. Whenever
You Can, Say Something Unexpected
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Technical craft aside, how do
you write fresh dialogue that entertains?
One of the easiest ways to do it is to have a character say something
unexpected.
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One talented writer I know
went through his entire script and challenged himself to change every well-known
phrase into something a little different.
For example, he had a character telling another character “we’ve been
through thick and thin,” and he changed it to “we’ve been through thick and
thicker.” It’s a small change, but it
became a much better line, because it subverted expectations.
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It may not always fly, but try
things, twist things, screw with the words people say, and you might stumble
upon the next classic quotable line!
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I recently had the pleasure of spending some time with Gary Goldstein, a billion-in-revenues producer with a unique perspective on networking in Hollywood. Like me, he was once a lawyer who wanted a more fulfilling life. He found himself in L.A. with no idea how the film biz ticked, and yet he somehow networked…
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